The Process To Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself Will Follow This Path:
1. You will should yourself and afterwards realize you did.
2. After many attempts to catch yourself before you say it, you will suddenly realize you are about to should yourself and instead use the word ‘could’. For example: “I should really eat a salad but….” This makes you feel guilty when you don’t eat the salad. Instead say: “I could eat a salad, but I choose to eat this cake instead." And enjoy it!
3. It will take some time before ‘could’ will feel like the natural response instead of ‘should’. Each time you catch yourself as you are about to should yourself, congratulate yourself for your quick response. If a little should sneaks out, correct yourself in the moment. You are rewiring your brain and the magic number is 21 days of doing the new habit and not doing the old one.
4. After the 21 days of no shoulding, and only coulding, you will begin to naturally remove the word should from your vocabulary when it pertains to you.
5. If other people should you, just mentally correct it in your own mind. They are giving you a wonderful opportunity to complete this process faster. When you reply to them, use the word could instead. For example of a definite shoulding: “You shouldn’t take that route to the mall, there is a much faster way.” You can reply: “I could take your route, however, I take my route, even though it is longer, because I make a pit stop on the way.”